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wry1 · 10-20-2003, 08:49 PM

A factor in your conversation with your mother might be the whole parent/child dynamic. It took a few years (and a few thousand miles separation) before my mother finally discarded the behavior she used with me when I was growing up.

Be kind, but be firm. If they're rude, tell them that it's not appreciated, and that you'll be happy to help, but not necessarily to converse with her/him at this time. Suggest that they call back later, when nerves won't be as frayed as they are right now - especially with you just coming off work (stressful environment that it is).

You're an adult, you have the right to be treated cordially - especially by those you've done (or are doing) favors for. But you also have to return that politeness....even when you're not receiving it at that time.

But you can still be firm about it!

A quick example: My parents came to visit me, and we went to Las Vegas and did some sightseeing at the Grand Canyon. On the way back, my mother picks a fight with my father, then nurses a grudge the rest of the way when he finally snaps back at her sniping. The next day, she's griping to me about it, and I told her that she's lucky that it's Dad she's married to.....if it had been me, she'd still be walking back from the Grand Canyon!

Again, I was civil, but firm.

10-20-2003, 08:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	A factor in your conversation with your mother might be the whole parent/child dynamic. It took a few years (and a few thousand miles separation) before my mother finally discarded the behavior she used with me when I was growing up. Be kind, but be firm. If they're rude, tell them that it's not appreciated, and that you'll be happy to help, but not necessarily to converse with her/him at this time. Suggest that they call back later, when nerves won't be as frayed as they are right now - especially with you just coming off work (stressful environment that it is). You're an adult, you have the right to be treated cordially - especially by those you've done (or are doing) favors for. But you also have to return that politeness....even when you're not receiving it at that time. But you can still be firm about it! A quick example: My parents came to visit me, and we went to Las Vegas and did some sightseeing at the Grand Canyon. On the way back, my mother picks a fight with my father, then nurses a grudge the rest of the way when he finally snaps back at her sniping. The next day, she's griping to me about it, and I told her that she's lucky that it's Dad she's married to.....if it had been me, she'd still be walking back from the Grand Canyon! Again, I was civil, but firm. Last edited by wry1; 10-20-2003 at 08:51 PM..