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Here's a guy in John Henry Williams that had his father signing items on his deathbed, helping him guide the pen over cheesy memorabilia. He squeezed every red cent out of him, and when he died, figured he'd have him preserved to see if science couldn't find a way to make him more economically viable. John Henry Willimas doesn't appear to really have a job.
Maybe Ted convinced God to take John early - and let Ted give him an ass whipping ahead of schedule.
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