Oh Mightily-Fly-Covered Khan......
We've been going about this thing the wrong way here in Vegas. We've been on the offensive - and quite offensive, indeed - but most tourists are also offensive, so the hotels have developed an incredibly thick skin where offensiveness is concerned. The town has survived Elvis, Evil Kinevil, and a National Lampoon's Vacation sequel - so our Horde, acting as we do, is nothing out of the ordinary.
What we need to do is change our tactics. Think "Rat Pack" thoughts, and be the boss, Billy. Okay, I had to paraphrase from Caddyshack, but it seemed right.
Go in there like we own the place. If somebody doesn't like it, kill 'em deader 'n dead. Take your time about it....make it seem like you've started a new career involving making that poor bastard's life end as slowly as possible. And then make some outrageous demand of the Concierge staff. Something like telling them you want a harpoon so you can track down and kill "whales" from the other casinos (for those of you who don't know, a "whale" is the industry's term for the really high-rollers). Cover Sigfried in processed meats and toss him in with his tigers; that way he can be right there with Roy.
And, as always......hookers, hookers, hookers!!!! This is Vegas, baby! What happens here, stays here.
....At least, it does if certain Hordesters (I'm not naming names, but I know who they are and I'm keeping my eye on 'em) know what's good for 'em.
What do you think, oh He-Who-Has-Never-Seen-A-Shower?
|