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I'll wade into this one. In no particular order:
1.) "Excelsior!" is how Stan Lee signed off in the Spiderman comic books; that line on the Simpsons was a reference/inside joke for comic nerds.
2.) I've *never* had a problem with being called "Colon," and I've had the same name for... well, my whole life. I think people are more likely to make comments about that ridiculous Guy Smiley facial hair than my name.
3.) Interesting that someone considers using "cunt" to refer to the female genitals as offensive, since it is usually used as an insult whenever one is being a "prick." So it's OK to equate jerks with the male genitals, but not female...
4.) Look "dork" up in the dictionary, specifically M-W Coll. Dict. 10th ed., it says under etymology - perhaps alteration of dick.
5.) I generally use "pussy," if not just straight-up "vagina." I'll say "cunt" if there aren't any women around, or ones that have shown they don't get all worked up when they hear the word. Although for some reason, a lot more women I know dislike "twat" over "cunt." Go figure.
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