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Old 10-13-2003, 07:46 PM   #58 (permalink)
Sun Tzu
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Location: The Event Horizon
Quote:
Originally posted by Neato

I'm still waiting to see a "good" reason for voting no... saying the child will be ridiculed at school isn't a very valid reason, and certainly isn't reason enough to ban 2 people from brining a child into their life. I'm sure race occasionally results in riducule at school... should non-majority raced people not be allowed to have children?
It is the fault of the society, not the parents, that the child may be ridiculed. The society needs to be changed rather than the gay parents be punished for "the way they are."

"Do gays truly try to adopt?"
That question seems a bit unnecisary to me... of course gays truly try to adopt. Not all of them of course, but some gay couples surely do. I don't currently know any gay people, but there's no reason to assume they are any different than any couple other than their genders are the same. They are still human, they don't cease to love because they are gay, and I don't imagine that the desire to raise a child would be effected.
From the ages of 7-12 human beings learn programs that affect their behaviors that they will carry with them into adulthood. Some are auto pilot programs that are run from second nature because of being practiced every day. This in turn can lead to dysfunctional actions that hinder a person to create the things they want in life. Things like trust issues, lying, being guarded to the point of severe introversion. Due to the fact that gay couples NOT being the norm for the past few decades; the abuse mentioned are occurring in conventional families or even two divorced parent sharing custody.

The creation of these programs: fathers and mother molesting their own children or allowing it to happen, parental desertion, doing drugs in front of or with their children, severe physical or mental trauma (when I worked in an ER in San Diego, I worked triage one night with a mother bringing her 1 y/o baby boy in for what she said was stomach pain- I had to check his temp rectally as with all infants. . .his genitals were one giant blister as if someone had submersed his bottom in scalding water… that still fills me with rage thinking about it) So in essence it can be looked at in this view; social acceptance has progressed from what it was. Certainly gay parental adoptions didn’t occur on a large scale if at all until recent times. With all the nasty things that happen to children data would definitely show that abuse in one form or another is a common occurrence in conventional families. So how are they truly any better? I understand that point.

Its been stated multiple times here that being ridiculed isn’t a valid reason for consideration, (thank you for noting it as your opinion) maybe it would, maybe it would not. I think only the individual could say. In the same perfect world that’s been mentioned in this thread, the children would go through k12 with no issues at all because all they encounter are evolved beings and look past such “nonsense”. But as also mentioned it’s not that world and IMO there is little doubt that the child will receive such. Severity would vary as would reaction form person to person as we are all built differently. You sound like a strong powerful minded person and not taking anything personally is probably a great trait you carry, but “Sticks and stones” will go only so far with some. For me I’ve received words that struck my heart harder than steel ever could, though usually form someone I care highly for.

I also think not holding any weight to what they are up against is similar to this example: breaking up with an intimate partner and feeling pain. Why should anyone feel pain over that? There’s people starving, dying all over the world and we’re feeling pain over a simple break up? Such pain really isn’t important in the universal scheme of things right? IMO the pain anyone feels over anything is valid and significant. Could something similar be applied to an adult who is gay, but “still in the closet”? Why be ashamed? Why not be proud of who they are? Not to mention the fact they are adults not on the playground anymore. Are they fearful of what others are going to think? Why is that so important in adult life to some; if not more? Perhaps they are afraid of the potential mental aguish that could follow “coming out”. That seems it would be mentally and spiritually painful in and of itself to feel as though hiding is necessary. Do you see that pain as being invalid?

What is the reason/ or reasons why gay marriages and adoptions aren’t totally legal across the board in America? With civil rights being so vitally important why is this issue where it’s at still? If it boils down to ignorance then what can be done to change that? When asking about valid reasons for or against are you considering what is important is going to differ from person to person? It’s a valid question, but it sounds as though you want a clinical answer; if so why it isn’t common law in America. Where’s the validity that stops gay couples from adopting? There also appears to be allot of people that voted no, and don’t care to give their reasons fir such. This also raises the foundation of your question.

I don’t recall asking if gays truly adopt, I know Rosie O’Donnell has several adopted.
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