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Even though I don’t have friends on a direct level that are gay, one of my best friends father is. His parents got divorced before he was born for that reason. He is not gay. (He confided this info to me 2 years ago- I’ve known him for 11) Although I think he's become numb to it, I know he still feels shame that he said he had gotten over years ago. He said growing up it’s not anything he could have told his heterosexual guy friends "the guys". I tried to understand; why would 11-17 y/o heterosexual males give him shit just because his dad is gay? He started talking to him 3 1/2 years ago off and on because he said when he first really clicked on to what it meant when he was young he didn’t want anything to do with him (until recent years)
I met his dad and I saw him as an extremely kind and honorable person. A couple of his friends were there and I felt a little discomfort in how they were looking at me-- but that obviously is a personal issue on my part. Other than that I feel bad for both of them because I can see it’s a personal issue to my friend that eating away at him and for his dad because I know he loves him very much (or at least what I saw) They don’t speak now.
So hers the only personal experience a friend with one gay parent that was raised by the straight parent, and the daughter of an acquaintance who spent a large portion of her time with the gay parent and is gay. Is there something wrong with that? No.
I know Rosie O’Donnell has several children and appears to be providing a great home for her children. The comments about a family with heterosexual parents are absolutely right. That situation doesn’t stop alcoholic moms, abusive fathers, painful divorces, and an assortment of other nightmares. In my case; having 2 hetero parents that provided a good home, with me still ending up getting suspended for fighting left and right and other darker, things. If it weren’t for the rude awakening I got in the service; Id probably is dead right now. So I know first hand having a conventional situation doesn’t mean someone is going to turn out good.
My question/point/ or whatever stems from what I saw with the girl and what I experienced at my friends dad's with his friends. So it out me on the highway of generalizing which I truly don’t like.
In the same perfect world that’s been described; is it the same perfect world where a majority of peers befriended growing up would be totally accepting and not offer ridicules and similar; creating another element that a teen already faces now.
It can be said sure they're not people one would want to have as friends anyway, but I don’t know how far the isolation would go. A person can hear some pretty cruel things as the blossom into a person, from what I gather sometimes the scars can run deep. The other aspect is in watching this lifestyle does that detract what the child would have been through learned behavior. (This is why I brought up the choice issue--I worded different than I wanted to or should have.
Analogy- in Star Trek there was a prime directive that prevented involvement with a species development to protect what would possibly naturally occur.
If there were a little boy being raised by my friend’s dad, there would not be an absence of love or security. There would however be a situation that’s an atmosphere in which it would be hard for me to see the boy not becoming gay himself.
Personally I strive to be a nonjudgmental, open minded person. I suppose I fall into the ignorant percentage that’s been commented on, but I’m doing my best to understand. I know a closed mind will miss endless chances to learn and grow in life. Hearing feedback in this format is a tool I often use for certain areas I feel I need guidance from others that may have suggestions on how to understand certain things (which is great about this forum) thanks for the input each post is valued.
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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking
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