Quote:
Originally posted by alfred183
Man, some of you guys are real assholes giving such fucked up advice without knowing the whole story.
MARTIN, in my opinion, tell the whole REAL story or handle this is private, which is what you should be doing anyway. Just posting your own view is not enough for people to give real helpful advice and you're just making her seem like a villain. Just so you know, I don't think this thread is helping you guys at all.
I won't talk to either of you again on this subject. Be grown up and take care of it on your own.
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Opinion noted...And no offense, ALFRED, but I know what you think...you basically only know her side...if you want to enlighten us all with a few nuggets of truth that negate everything I've said here, feel free. Read my posts carefully, I didn't post 'should i break up with her' I posted to see how people dealt with similar situations. You cannot tell me that I posted anything non-factual. All that I left out is motives, which I have to take her (or your, I guess...) word for....which is hard if I don't know if I can trust her.
You really want me to post the entire story of our relationship, from its beginnings, with all of the circumstances? You really think it would get different responses?
Yeah I left some shit out, but I originally didn't think this thread would go this way. Also, I am being 'grown up' and asking for advice, from people who may have a magic bullet to deal with the situation that I haven't thought of...this whole fucked up situation and yet I'm the villian for breathing a word of it...if you've got a problem with how I'm handling this you've got my number, but don't just shit on my thread...next please...
Quote:
Originally posted by Dorito2
I've been though this type of thing before and I really, honestly can't think of much else to say that hasn't already been said. When I found out one of my ex-partners had cheated, I asked everyone's advice, and then proceeded to shoot them all down. I didn't really want advice, I wanted an opportunity to prove I was still in control, and I did that by making up excuses and saying 'But... but...'. I knew deep down that it wouldn't work. A big reason was because she hurt me, but an even bigger reason was that I had told her that if she ever cheated again then I'd be out of there. From the moment I told her that I realized that she can cheat all she wants, she just won't tell me. Imagine having your partner say that to you, that if you ever cheat again, they're leaving you for good. If you cheated again, in a moment of weakness, drunkeness, or something like that, I'm sure you'd keep it to yourself. So from then on I was paranoid that she would cheat, and that she would never tell me, because she knew what my response would be. When I told her that if it happened again I was leaving, it didn't reassure me at all, it made me more distursting and more paranoid that she would continue cheating, and wouldn't tell me. And it turned out I was 110% correct in my fears.
I know I'm rambling, so...
My advice: quit making up excuses, just leave her.
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Thanks for the story...this is more what I was looking for when I posted this, or I would have gone into more nitty gritty details.