Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Guys--how do you get over infidelity? (vent warning)

rainheart · 10-09-2003, 05:58 PM

Ok, so like I was going to say...

Treating her like a whore makes no sense because being a promiscuous girl in American (North American?) society is so damn hard without being looked down upon by the masses that you just about cannot do it openly, and if you foster those feelings into her she will probably walk away or worse. If the only way she thinks she can go about hooking up with another guy is by deceiving you, then she is worried about looking like a slut . The reason you have been cheated on is because she felt like she couldn't tell you (unless she's into deceiving for sport, in which case get your sorry ass out of there), and that is because society looks down upon promiscuous girls. This by no means excuses her actions however, don't feel pity!! Taking a weak stance on all of this will NOT help you AT ALL!

Yes, in some way, you have now received a "get pussy for free" card (ridiculous isn't it), should you decide to cash that in is up to you. But, obviously, don't be surprised if she walks if you do that.

How long has your relationship lasted? A month? And already there's been a "confusing point" in that relationship?

Now you are in therapy because your girlfriend cheated on you. So this indicates that you were very shocked to find out she did indeed cheat on you. This indicates that you were attached. If the length of your relationship is one or say one or two months and you are already attached, these might have been the reasons:
1) You get attached way too easily.
2) This girl must've really been something (as in exceeding beyond your standards)!
3) You were fooled into thinking this girl was really something.

I don't know how #2 can apply if she cheats on you.

You are trying to work it out with your GF despite the fact that she played you, and lied to you untill you yourself found out what had been going on.

All I wonder is, what does that communicate to her, when you let her lie to you time after time, when you seek therapy as a result of her infidelity, when you try to work it out between the two of you for what she's done? What does that communicate to her?

Feel free to clear anything up for us.

10-09-2003, 05:58 PM	#23 (permalink)
rainheart Psycho	Ok, so like I was going to say... Treating her like a whore makes no sense because being a promiscuous girl in American (North American?) society is so damn hard without being looked down upon by the masses that you just about cannot do it openly, and if you foster those feelings into her she will probably walk away or worse. If the only way she thinks she can go about hooking up with another guy is by deceiving you, then she is worried about looking like a slut . The reason you have been cheated on is because she felt like she couldn't tell you (unless she's into deceiving for sport, in which case get your sorry ass out of there), and that is because society looks down upon promiscuous girls. This by no means excuses her actions however, don't feel pity!! Taking a weak stance on all of this will NOT help you AT ALL! Yes, in some way, you have now received a "get pussy for free" card (ridiculous isn't it), should you decide to cash that in is up to you. But, obviously, don't be surprised if she walks if you do that. How long has your relationship lasted? A month? And already there's been a "confusing point" in that relationship? Now you are in therapy because your girlfriend cheated on you. So this indicates that you were very shocked to find out she did indeed cheat on you. This indicates that you were attached. If the length of your relationship is one or say one or two months and you are already attached, these might have been the reasons: 1) You get attached way too easily. 2) This girl must've really been something (as in exceeding beyond your standards)! 3) You were fooled into thinking this girl was really something. I don't know how #2 can apply if she cheats on you. You are trying to work it out with your GF despite the fact that she played you, and lied to you untill you yourself found out what had been going on. All I wonder is, what does that communicate to her, when you let her lie to you time after time, when you seek therapy as a result of her infidelity, when you try to work it out between the two of you for what she's done? What does that communicate to her? Feel free to clear anything up for us.