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It seems that every so often the music industry chews up some teenage blonde-haired bimbo and spits her out at us in an attempt to sell us on looks. In the past several years we’ve been “graced” with the wonderful talents of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, and countless, nameless clones of them. The formula has always been simple: Take a blonde haired girl with a half-decent rack, a Monster Booty, and a voice that can break glass, add in some lyric writers and a few uglier chicks who can dance (and a few gay little men) who wear matching clothing, and POOF – you have an overnight musical sensation.
To make matters worse, pop isn’t going away quite yet. We now have American Idol which most of you people out there watch, not realizing that you are contributing to the pop music era’s lifespan and ensuring plenty more LIKE Britney, Christina, and other stupid bitches for years to come. If you want a British guy to insult you and tell you you’re worthless then my UK friend Deerokus’ AIM screen-name is deerokus1 and I’m pretty fucking sure that he’ll insult you or another person’s musical talent or lack thereof for free. Anyway, the music industry realizes that pop is a temporary novelty that will eventually die, especially being that Christina Aguilera looks like she hasn’t bathed in centuries and Britney Spears’ has more fake parts inside her than Johnny-5 of Short Circuit fame.
CEO 1: What ever shall we do? We’re running out of stupid blondes to exploit!
CEO 2: I have a plan B… Something more sinister! We’re going to take over rock music!
CEO 1: Yes, but guys just don’t dig Nickelback and Creed. They have dicks and sing about morality. What shall we do?
CEO 2: Trust me.
CEO 1: We better do it fucking quick then; those fucking Russians have us corned on exploiting lesbians to sell records…
Now, Avril is allegedly “different” from Britney Spears and Christina, or at least that’s what we’ve been told by MTV. What makes Avril different? Read the Avrilifacts below...
---She carries a skateboard and wears a fucking tie because she is “punk.”
---Her hair is dirty blonde as opposed to blonde.
---She’s shorter than the other chicks, with slightly smaller tits.
---She has a really bad attitude towards everyone else alive.
---She’s fucking hot if you’re into that sort of look.
Thus Avrilmania began. 12 year old chicks love this girl, because they think she’s different and extreme and hardcore. Guys love her because she doesn’t dress like a normal pop singer. Me? I’m stuck in limbo. Let me explain to you…
Her music sucks, but I’d damn sure fuck her.
Still, the fact that she’s bitchy simply makes me want to fuck the bitch out of her despite the fact that such a task could take years. There’s something about her rage and her angst and her attitude problem that makes me want to adjust it by beating her in the face with my dick until she learns to comply and obey.
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-All women are 2 drinks away from a GIRL-ON-GIRL adventure!-
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