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mirevolver · 10-07-2003, 06:58 PM

Here is a peice of the first chapter. I didn't like the first chapter after I wrote it, and just finished a rewrite of it.

___________________________________________________

“John!” Fleet Captain Marc Revolver screamed as he sat up in bed. He quickly looked around and realized he was in his quarters on his ship, and that there was no battle going on around him. It was all a dream. Upon the realization, he uttered his only thought, “Damn!”

Marc hated his dreams; he never had good dreams. Worst of which were the recurring dreams. The worst of the recurring dreams were the ones from the Battle at Earth, the ones where he watched John’s death.

Marc exhaled before he spoke again, “Computer.”

The computer chimed to signal that it was awaiting a command.

“Give time and date.” Marc commanded.

“Zero five forty-seven on May seventh, 2203.”

“May seventh.” Marc repeated to himself. He got up from the bed and tapped a panel along the adjacent wall. An instant later, the bed started lowering into the floor as Marc walked into the bathroom. He took a moment to splash his face and looked into the mirror. “Computer,” he said after giving a moments thought about seeing someone about his dreams.

The computer gave its familiar chime.

“What times are available in Commander Tranfal’s appointment log?”

“Ship’s counselor, Commander Tranfal has available times at ten-thirty hours, thirteen hundred hours, and fifteen-thirty hours. Would you like to schedule an appointment?”

Marc was about to speak, but then remembered why he has always avoided the ship’s counselor. She’s a telepath. If it weren’t for Solforce regulations, she wouldn’t even be on his ship. “Computer cancel appointment request.” Marc finally said.

After taking a quick shower, Marc dried off and threw on his uniform. His black pants had gold lining up the seam on each side of his leg to signify that he was in command of a fleet. Next was an all black shirt, and then over that was his jacket. The jacket was red to signify that of all the Solforce branches, he served in Solforce Central Forces. Over his right shoulder and left breast sat a black patch and on each patch was a gold rank insignia. The rank insignia was built of a star and a sphere, the star resembled Sol and the sphere represented Earth. Two golden bars connected the star and sphere, five gold bare spanned the two parallel bars to signify the rank of fleet captain. Underneath the insignia on his left breast was the lettering, “FLT CPT REVOLVER”

Marc took a moment to admire himself in the mirror. Then just as he was about to step out the door, the room suddenly was cast in a yellow glow and an alarm klaxon sounded twice. The voice of the computer came on and said, “Alert status level 3.”

The voice of Sr. Captain Tertim, Marc’s first officer followed the computer. “Captain to the bridge.”

Marc Revolver ran out the door.

10-07-2003, 06:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
mirevolver Inspired by the mind's eye. Location: Between the darkness and the light.	Here is a peice of the first chapter. I didn't like the first chapter after I wrote it, and just finished a rewrite of it. ___________________________________________________ “John!” Fleet Captain Marc Revolver screamed as he sat up in bed. He quickly looked around and realized he was in his quarters on his ship, and that there was no battle going on around him. It was all a dream. Upon the realization, he uttered his only thought, “Damn!” Marc hated his dreams; he never had good dreams. Worst of which were the recurring dreams. The worst of the recurring dreams were the ones from the Battle at Earth, the ones where he watched John’s death. Marc exhaled before he spoke again, “Computer.” The computer chimed to signal that it was awaiting a command. “Give time and date.” Marc commanded. “Zero five forty-seven on May seventh, 2203.” “May seventh.” Marc repeated to himself. He got up from the bed and tapped a panel along the adjacent wall. An instant later, the bed started lowering into the floor as Marc walked into the bathroom. He took a moment to splash his face and looked into the mirror. “Computer,” he said after giving a moments thought about seeing someone about his dreams. The computer gave its familiar chime. “What times are available in Commander Tranfal’s appointment log?” “Ship’s counselor, Commander Tranfal has available times at ten-thirty hours, thirteen hundred hours, and fifteen-thirty hours. Would you like to schedule an appointment?” Marc was about to speak, but then remembered why he has always avoided the ship’s counselor. She’s a telepath. If it weren’t for Solforce regulations, she wouldn’t even be on his ship. “Computer cancel appointment request.” Marc finally said. After taking a quick shower, Marc dried off and threw on his uniform. His black pants had gold lining up the seam on each side of his leg to signify that he was in command of a fleet. Next was an all black shirt, and then over that was his jacket. The jacket was red to signify that of all the Solforce branches, he served in Solforce Central Forces. Over his right shoulder and left breast sat a black patch and on each patch was a gold rank insignia. The rank insignia was built of a star and a sphere, the star resembled Sol and the sphere represented Earth. Two golden bars connected the star and sphere, five gold bare spanned the two parallel bars to signify the rank of fleet captain. Underneath the insignia on his left breast was the lettering, “FLT CPT REVOLVER” Marc took a moment to admire himself in the mirror. Then just as he was about to step out the door, the room suddenly was cast in a yellow glow and an alarm klaxon sounded twice. The voice of the computer came on and said, “Alert status level 3.” The voice of Sr. Captain Tertim, Marc’s first officer followed the computer. “Captain to the bridge.” Marc Revolver ran out the door. __________________ Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions. Last edited by mirevolver; 10-07-2003 at 07:52 PM..