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Originally posted by Dorito2
Thanks for the reply guthmund. They are strict Asian parents, the kids have grown up in Western society, so there's a huge conflict there. From what I've experienced, and what I've been told about her family, it appears that it's every person for themselves in that household - nobody looks out for each other and there's a lot of hatred and distrust between all the members. She also told me that when she was younger she was caned for misbehaving - not just spanked or scolded, but caned, with an actual cane, and that scared me and angered me so much to hear it.
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No problem, I mean if you can't turn to anonymous strangers on the Internet, who can you turn to?
Not to make light... That certainly is no way to grow up, and I can't even imagine growing up in a house like that so I have very little advice to give.
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I'm also trying to get my partner to see me less as a punching bag, or someone she can take her anger and frustration out on, and more of someone who will listen and help, but from what I can see she's never really had that, so I'm trying my hardest to be there for her.
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I lied.
That would be my only advice. You have to help her change her perspective. She's been under fire for a long time and old habits and instincts aren't that easy to change. You have to be both a guide and a support in changing her perception of how relationships should work.
I'm all tapped out, but good luck and I hope it works out for you.