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This is a long quote from "King-size Homer":
"Bart: If you gain 61 pounds they'll let you work at home?
Homer: Y'uh huh, that's the deal. No more exercise program, no more
traffic, no more blood drives or charity walks.
Bart: Dad, I know we don't do a lot together but helping you gain 61
pounds is something I want to be a part of.
[Lisa swings her chair around, unexpectedly appearing.]
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: [frightened] Aah!
Lisa: I must protest. You're abusing a program intended to help the
unfortunate.
Homer: Hee hee hee, I'm not saying it isn't sleazy, honey, but try to
see it my way: all my life I've been an obese man trapped inside
a fat man's body.
Lisa: Have you told Mom about this?
Homer: No, it would only worry her. If you want to add to her worries,
go ahead. I guess I'm just a little more grateful for all the
things she's done for us.
Lisa: [annoyed] Dad!
Homer: Yes, sweetheart?
Lisa: Obesity is really unhealthy; any doctor will tell you that.
Homer: Oh yeah? Well we'll just see about that little miss smart
guy!
[Cut to Dr. Hibbert's office.]
Dr. Hibbert: [gasps] My God, that's monstrous. I've never heard of
anything so negligen -- I'll have no part of it!
[Turns his back on Homer.]
Homer: Can you recommend a doctor who will?
Hibbert: [turns around again] Yes.
-- And that doctor is...
[Dr. Nick Riviera walks into the room.]
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
Dr. Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously
underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow
steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
Homer: [pensive] Of course.
Dr. Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected
food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group
and the chocotastic!
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with
bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon,
heh...
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it
against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's
your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!
Homer: Bye, Dr. -- oh, forget it. "
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