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Before hubby and I tried swinging I felt the same way. Afraid I'd loose him to the other woman. We talked a LOT about it for nearly a year and eventually I felt more comfortable and assured of his love for me. Once we actually tried swapping with a couple it was no big deal. This is this was a married couple that we swapped with and not a threesome. I loved my first bi experience and the whole deal opened me up sexually. Some swinging couples are willing to simply have same room sex. In fact most are willing to accomodate your preferences. If you were to meet up with another couple you could simply play with the woman and not the man. It would give you an opportunity to experience sex play with another woman and the fact that HER man would be there too would take away some of the fear of her stealing YOUR man.
No matter what you do the most important thing in any open relationship is communication and patience. You need to talk over this with your boyfriend and talk over it often. You need to be completely honest with your feelings. Make sure he knows that you are willing to share him with another woman but that you are afraid you'll loose him. Let him know that if he's not up to handle this that you'll be fine without it. If you put pressure on him and he's not comfortable with it then give him that space or you'll scare him away from the whole deal. Let him know that you simply want to explore this part of you. If he truely loves you and is confident enough to give you this freedom you can be less afraid that he will leave you for the other woman. I wish you good luck.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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