I live right off a two lane highway with no passing zones for miles in either direction and virtually no shoulder.
I'm coming home from school and this lady in a big white surburban is riding my ass. I look back in the mirror; she's got one hand on the cell phone, another holding a cigarette, and she's making obscene gestures at me trying to get me to go faster.
There's a little old lady in front of me making her turn so I slow down a bit so I don't rear end her. The SUV lady starts honking her horn and flashing her lights. I look back and she's having a seizure or something, but she never drops her smoke or phone.
Now I'm amused.
I finish my drive doing ten miles an hour under the posted speed limit. I make there is no way for her to pass me on a double yellow (she kept edging up and swerving out like she was going to) I get to my turn and take my sweet time making it, she freaks out and squeals off.
Now, I've made my day.
I get out to check my mail, she
turns around and comes back to pull over in my drive way and yell at me. I tell her maybe it's time to cut back on the caffeine and that's it's dangerous to drive with your head up your ass.
I then point to my big "trespassers will be prosecuted" sign and inform her she's trespassing. I pull out my cellphone (pretending to call the cops) and she leaves.
Made my week.
