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Air, I hate to break it to you, but your much-sought-after Relic Huntress is currently married to Simon Wakelin.
J-Lo, however, is incredibly available. I say begin a concentrated regimen of stalking her. Call her agent five times a day pestering them for an 'interview'. Show up at her house and try to get in. Once J-Lo sees that you're trying so desperately for her love that you two were, indeed, meant to be together. She'll welcome you with open arms for such engagements as putt-putt golf and PG-13 movies. After a few weeks of this, she'll be begging for the hot beef injection. You played her right into your arms.
The entire previous paragraph was sarcasm. I do not really suggest a regimen of stalking. People like J-Lo are probably not grounded in real life due to the attention people lavish on them. Look for someone more attainable.
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