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Her name wasn't important, for the sake of the story we'll call her "Slut." I'll make this the Cliff's Notes version:
So Fuckbag and I ...ok, so I like Fuckbag better than Slut.
So Fuckbag and I were dating for what had to be every bit of three hours and it was getting late. She was tired, I was tired, and we both were two and a half hours from our home town. So rather than drive back (in my piece of shit truck) tired and pissy we decided to hit up the local chee-pass motel.
I don't even remember the mom-n-pop name this place was so slum.
So we stay the night. Being the first date, I'm sleeping on the f-ing floor fully clothed and curled up like a bum. We both wake up about 4am to the tune of gunshots. (thank you south Dallas)
She gets scared, asks me to crawl in, I take my clothes off, and hop in. We start fooling around, I'm not that kind of girl, Oh but I feel like I've known you forever baby, Ya but not on the first date, we've been friends for so long it's more like the tenth, a couple kisses, and the race is off to a dashing start.
There ya go, most of my friends tell me their first was shitty. I'd have to say that my first was spectacular. I've MOST certainly had better and can say that I've surely done worse.
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