Quote:
Originally posted by siryn
This is an exact quote from my post in the Ladies Lounge on the same subject.
No orgasms during sex, ever. It makes me so sad. I can almost always get myself off, but never in the presence of my man (unless he's asleep). Its totally a psychological thing, but it always gets the better of me. I think that the cause is an unpleasant experience with an ex. I'm not sure that I'm very comfortable talking about that in particular, but I know that whenever I have sex, and often when I begin to masturbate, I am completely in a void. Its still pleasurable, but the pleasure seems so distance and orgasm is totally out of reach. When I masturbate, I have to concentrate really hard, usually fantasize about specific things, and then I can make it. Even when I masturbate, if I am close, but then get distracted, I have to start all over again. I wish there was some way to fix me.
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Siryn, first I want to thank you for being honest. I think this must be a very painful situation for you and not easy to discuss. My wife is like you in many ways. She can easily lose her concentration, and when she does she must start all over again. Often she can't get back to the excited state she was in and it's useless to continue. Just yesterday, we were having sex and suddenly I could tell that something was wrong. She said she was thinking about my love of porn (which she doesn't like, to say the least), and was now out of the mood. So this kind of thing happens with some regularity. I like to approach orgasm, then back away, over and over again, until the pleasure is too much to stop. My wife cannot back away because if she does she will never get back the feeling again. All of this is frustrating to me.
Siryn, I think your problem is purely psychological, as you said. If you've had some kind of trama in the past that can stick with you. Have you ever been able to orgasm with a man, or did the problem start after the bad ex? Perhaps you should seek help from a psychologist? It could help you. Do you ever listen to Loveline on the radio? I've learned lots from that program and Adam Corolla is a riot besides. You should tune it in and see if it gives you any ideas. Good luck.