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I didn't have any money to tip a guy that brought us 2 large pizzas a few weeks ago. I was watching my brothers kids and they left me 20 bucks, so he ended up making 8 or so cents. Felt like a jerk for like 5 minutes until it was pizza eating time.
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"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
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