Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

darkallaround · 09-27-2003, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tikki
Wow, if I could ever relate to a thread it would be this one. Rather than give straight advice, I will just tell you what I am going through and you can use it as a measuring point.

I had been dating this girl since my senior year in high school. We were best friends since Jr High before that, and I adored her madly. We did everything together, clicked like you wouldn't believe. I knew she was my soulmate, and wasn't afraid to let anyone know that. Yeah, we had our bad times, but the good times so far outweighed them it was crazy. So, we both end up at Purdue (after me not being there her first semester: that's a whole different story) and you'd think everything would be fucking great. We spend all the time in the world together and what comes with that is taking out frusrations and stress on the other as well.

We were both stressed from school and outside activities, but always went back to the other for comfort and compassion. So, as the semester progressed it tended to get more stressful, and come the end of the semester she breaks up with me. Why? "She wants to date other people and get out of the comfort zone she is in with me." I am sure you've heard that line sometime in your life.

For a while I seemed ok with it. We still talked and were still pretty close even though I was still up at school and she was at home. I guess this was my denial stage.

Then I come to find out she is actually dating someone else, and I fucking fall. I mean fall to the deepest pit of depression I have been in. I lock myself in my apartment, listen to the saddest songs, and cry my eyes out like a little baby over it. I thought this girl was my soulmate. She was my wonderwall.

After the first fit of depression came anger and I hated her fucking guts for doing this to me. I am not an emotional person whatsoever, and she brought out every emotion inside me, and I hated her for that. I wanted revenge. I wanted to get her back, so I wanted a rebound. I almost went through with it too with this other girl I know, but I decided against it. I would have regretted it after the fact, and so back to depression I went.

That was the beginning of August. I am still in the depression almost six months later, and I don't know what to do. I still love the girl more than you could imagine, and every day it seems more and more insatiable. No matter what I try or what I do, I can't get past that. I have tried to totally ignore her existence, but neither of us last with that past a week.

I guess the point of that story is that it's not going to be easy, and it really fucking sucks, but maybe if you know that you aren't the only one that goes through stuff like that, you can at least have some solace. Just try and keep your head up, keep your mind as occupied as you can so that you don't spend every waking moment thinking about the one that got away, and keep listening to everyone that says it will pass with time. Hopefully one day they will be right.

if you could be any closer without being the same person, it would be um...well
ok lemme start over. that situation is so goddamn close to my own. there are still days where my soul just aches for her. and then there are days when i can just feel that she's with another guy.
crazy eh?
even more crazy when i find out i was right *groan*