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The only thing I can think of is, I think it is a mistake to keep up with your ex. She may want to stay friends, but it is probably better to get away and stay away. Don't ask people what she is doing now, don't ask what she says about you.
Take up a hobby that gets you out of the house. Hiking, surfing, something fun that will help keep your mind off it. Get out of the house and live.
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This too shall pass.
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