It was pretty much when I became a teenager, and began to learn to think for myself, rather than just accepting "common knowledge".
I was quite a religious child, in that I prayed every night, and did the whole confession thing, and was always careful never to "sin". I reasoned that these minor inconvieniences were more than worth it, for life ever lasting in complete bliss.
I could never understand the "black and whiteness" of the situation though...what does God do with boderline cases of goodness? How good did you have to be to be good? The classic answer is that borderline cases spent a length of time in purgatory/limbo for a length of time.
But that didn't sit well with me, given that this time in purgatory would be only the tiniest of fractions of your eternity in heaven.
Further more, I always wondered what was goign to happen to non-christains. I was good friends with a Hindu. It didn't seem quite fair that he would go to hell, just because his parents were of the "wrong" religion.
Well, it was reasoned that since he was a still a good person, he would go to heaven. Believing in the christian god, wasn't strictly necessary, just a "bonus".
But what about someone who wasn't a "good person"...what about some person who didn't know the difference between right and wrong? After all, we all know about how it is our parents who "teach you right from wrong". What if a child wasn't taught this? Would HE go to hell? Again didn't seem fair. The answer...he is sick, and God doesn't punish sick people. (More appologetics!)
Then, he seems to be at an advantage to me! He can go ahead and do whatever he likes, without any possibility of facing consequences, me..I have to play by the rules!
Upon thinking of these complications, I was lead to wonder why I believe in God at all.
The question is the same as why I believed the earth to be round. My parents had told me. But while, it was easy to see that the earth was in fact round, I wondered what evidence there was for God?
I could find nothing but blind faith, people believing the words of an old book, which constantly contradicted both itself, and modern science.
I came to the conclusion that God didn't exist. It scared the shit out of me. I had lost the hope of life ever lasting. Suddenly my existence was finite. I had to face my own mortality. Scary shit for a thirteen year old! I became really depressed, and tried really hard not to think of anything remotely to do with religion or death. It didn't work. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I had to accept the truth, or ignore it and carry on deluding myself. I chose the
red pill. and I have absolutely no regrets.
It didn't happen over night. It started slowly, with doubts, until I then became "non-religious" or apathetic, then later I became a full blown atheist.
Since then, everyhting I have learnt and experienced has done nothing but to strengthen my conviction that we are living in a godless world.