as said...this is the fruit of a really funnny irony-the more the religious right talks abstinence, the more they focus on vaginal intercourse. so, all the rightious kids go down on each other.
a funny, NSFW link, is
www.technicalvirgin.com. It offers a great spoof of this kind of teaching, and the TV PSAs are highlarious.
It's my conviction that Christianity does not have a sexual ethic-that there is not one set of behaviors that define the Christian sex life. It does have a love ethic. When there is love, that love will define the sex, not the other way around.
but i realize i'm not a very rightwing christian, and that this girl is probably thinking in terms of legalism. its a careful kind of schizophrenic double think that allows people make these kinds of distinctions, but be patient with her, and she may wake up a bit.