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Originally posted by Astrocloud
I have nothing to say about this other than I am secretly in love with people like you. I guess it's a phenomenon like the male-based phenonom of "groupies". I am one of your kind's male groupies.
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eep. how did you know this was about me :-x i was talking in a general sense!
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I know this sounds completely silly. It's also obviously self deprecating. Yet, this is also somehow amazingly true. I love women who walk all over me and then throw me away. -even though it does nothing to serve me. I mean right now, this whole date thing seems typical.
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i can relate with being masochistic. i think it goes both ways. both for the male "groupie" as you say, AND the women who keep them. it's not a healthy exchange. even though i may claim to be empowered and 'in control', chances are, it doesn't quite work that way. emotion still always gets the better of me... so i may 'win', but i LOSE big time.. for i also rob myself of being truly close with someone.
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The whole story above, where I give anything to some random woman on my first or second date... has happened repeatedly to me. (They often don't call me back.) I have many gay friends who have told me that I am a "bottom" in a heterosexual way. (Yeah, I'm hetero not bi.) They also tell me that in gay terms... those women are bitches.
But you know, there is something about them which draws me. I mean, each experience indicates that I know what can happen and I am a willing participant. Just because I'm lied to doesn't mean that I'm completely a dupe.
Perhaps this is a bit too reflective. I'm not sure.
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yes. it is definately a choice you know you're taking. you keep getting yourself into the same situations. it's easy for people to fall into the same patterns. the key is to recognize them (awareness). once you're conscious about it, it becomes an active choice to either stay in it or change accordingly.
im glad i've inspired you to self reflect if at all
