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I don't know, my friends and I say "gay" and "fag" as insults - we make fun of each other for everything. But we have gay friends, many of us have been involved in gay rights stuff, heck, I even told one of my best friends he should go out with a particular guy - since he was clearly into it, just afraid of the stigma.
I realize you can be tolerant of homosexuality on one level but still be bashing it, but I still don't think saying "gay" is bashing homosexuals. It's like, if you say something is "lame" you aren't making fun of mutilated or handicapped people, even though that's what the word literally means, you're just using it as a figure of speech.
At least that's how I look at it. I am careful though, I have plenty of friends who will take offense at that kind of language so I don't use it around them. I don't want to piss any one off.
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