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It doesn't sound good to me that she's over there a lot when you're gone, but I got burned pretty badly by a cheater and tend to be a little paranoid about fidelity these days.
I think you need to be clear with her about your boundaries are, and get her to tell you straight up about hers. It sounds like a door has been opened for her and she's taking things a little too fast--not taking the potential problems seriously and not giving enough attention to your perspective. Remember that actions speak louder than words, and sometimes people's opinions about sex and relationships can really surprise you, even when you think you know that person.
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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine
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