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Dude, I have been in your shoes. Want to hear something real fucked up, I decided to stay with my wife and do what it takes to make it work. When I told the "other" it was over she wanted to fuck one last time. Guess who had stopped taking the pill? 10 months later she shows up at my front door, baby in tow, and my wife answers the door. Time to tally up the score, one divorce, 3 child support payments for my three daughters, and 1 child support payment to my "son".
Bottom line, if you're having an affair where sex is the primary reason (and don't lie to yourself, it probably is), that raw intensity will fade over time. Drop the girlfriend and seriously assess your relationship with your wife. You can't, repeat can't do it with the girlfriend their to cloud the issue.
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