A part of it, at least for me, is determining what is worth feeling guilty about. I almost never give money to homeless people that I pass on the street - but I never feel guilty about it, because I don't consider it something that I should/am obligated to do. Emotional blackmail has never worked on me because I was selfish when I was young - and now have a clear picture of what needs to be done, rather than what others want me to do.
As a disclaimer, I realize I am in a privileged position in life: no one depends on me, I am responsible to and for myself, and I have no special obligations towards anyone (besides being a decent human being). Everything I do is for myself - and always has been. While I was still in grade school, my parents were like any other - my bad performance was somehow affecting them, and I was doing something terrible to them. But I never bought that, because I always believed that I was in school for myself - to build myself a better future, not to make my parents happy.
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Sure I have a heart; it's floating in a jar in my closet, along with my tonsils, my appendix, and all of the other useless organs I ripped out.
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