|
I can't really help you with your dilemma, but just to put in my two cents worth on the affair: don't flagellate yourself over it. I think that what you did was not only understandable, not only OK, but probably a good thing.
We owe it to ourselves and to those around us to try to be the best people that we can be, emotionally, spriitually, and yeah sexually.
Yes people are naturally monogamous, but that doesn't mean we have to drive that into the ground, OK? People really weren't made to have just one sexual partner in their entire life. To do so negates the gift of sexuality which is part of the gift of life.
(This doesn't apply if you're a Christian, but in that case the problem is defying God, which is another matter.)
I'll bet if you look inside you'll see that the goodness of the sex in the affair was not just physical pleasure but an increased sense of joy in your own self. That's only got to help your future partners, whether your current wife or someone else.
In my own case, I've been married a very long time, and we are not sexually compatible. I had an affair a few years back and it was one of the best things I've ever done, a very life-affirming thing for both me and my partner. I don't regret a moment.
And jeez, your wife is not orgasmic. We weren't meant to go to our graves not giving even one woman an orgasm. But on the plus side, I would think that with doing research and consulting experts and whatever you ought to be able to fix that orgasm thing with your wife eventually. After which she'll follow you around forever with a dreamy look on her face, lol. No seriously I bet that would really help your marriage turn into something really cool.
Good luck to you.
|