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wry1 · 09-18-2003, 07:45 AM

First off....Bob's not speaking from experience, he's speaking from bitterness. Ignore his cynicism and pay attention to the basic truths as you know them. From what I've read, the are:

1. You are completely infatuated with this girl, and other girls don't take the edge off your (for wont of a better word) crush.

2. While she hasn't said "no" to you, she's definitely in a holding pattern where relationships in general are concerned.

3. You're definitely willing to do whatever it takes to make a relationship with this girl work.

Okay, so how do you go about doing this? It's quite simple....but it'll take time (and probably cost a nice chunk of $$). I did something like this with a girl who was pretty much to me what this one is for you - the only difference being that I didn't work with her, but I still saw her daily. So here's what you do......

*** Tell her that you realize she's not ready for a romantic relationship, but that you really do enjoy spending time with her and would at least like to go out and about as friends - but make sure to imply that you'll both see how it goes from there.

*** Go to places which are fun yet casual. Have a great time but don't try kissing her (especially at first), just brush against her initially and work your way up - through several of these "dates" - to hand-holding. Don't do the whole "Dinner and a Movie" thing. It's an obvious date and she'll begin to get antsy again! The whole point is to get her comfortable with the concept of being around you in something other than a work situation. Likewise, try to avoid going clubbing. Ask yourself: would this be a "date" with any other woman? If so, don't do it. So you'll have to get creative.....Art galleries, museums, wine-tastings are all good ones, though!

*** Once she's relaxed and comfortable, kick it up a notch. In my case, I took the girl in question (Kim) to a traveling production of a Broadway play. She'd never been to anything like that, and had such a wonderful time that she wound up completely caught up in the romance of it all and let down her barriers.

But you've got to be patient! This will take quite a bit of time on your part, and the frustration level can run high - especially when you want nothing more than to lean in and kiss this girl.

Good luck, and let us all know how it goes!

09-18-2003, 07:45 AM	#19 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	First off....Bob's not speaking from experience, he's speaking from bitterness. Ignore his cynicism and pay attention to the basic truths as you know them. From what I've read, the are: 1. You are completely infatuated with this girl, and other girls don't take the edge off your (for wont of a better word) crush. 2. While she hasn't said "no" to you, she's definitely in a holding pattern where relationships in general are concerned. 3. You're definitely willing to do whatever it takes to make a relationship with this girl work. Okay, so how do you go about doing this? It's quite simple....but it'll take time (and probably cost a nice chunk of $$). I did something like this with a girl who was pretty much to me what this one is for you - the only difference being that I didn't work with her, but I still saw her daily. So here's what you do...... * Tell her that you realize she's not ready for a romantic relationship, but that you really do enjoy spending time with her and would at least like to go out and about as friends - but make sure to imply that you'll both see how it goes from there. * Go to places which are fun yet casual. Have a great time but don't try kissing her (especially at first), just brush against her initially and work your way up - through several of these "dates" - to hand-holding. Don't do the whole "Dinner and a Movie" thing. It's an obvious date and she'll begin to get antsy again! The whole point is to get her comfortable with the concept of being around you in something other than a work situation. Likewise, try to avoid going clubbing. Ask yourself: would this be a "date" with any other woman? If so, don't do it. So you'll have to get creative.....Art galleries, museums, wine-tastings are all good ones, though! *** Once she's relaxed and comfortable, kick it up a notch. In my case, I took the girl in question (Kim) to a traveling production of a Broadway play. She'd never been to anything like that, and had such a wonderful time that she wound up completely caught up in the romance of it all and let down her barriers. But you've got to be patient! This will take quite a bit of time on your part, and the frustration level can run high - especially when you want nothing more than to lean in and kiss this girl. Good luck, and let us all know how it goes!