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I've been in a similar situation, but without children on either side. I chose the other woman, and to be honest it has been very difficult for me. I hurt my wife very badly and she honestly did nothing to deserve it. If I could, I'd go back and really make an effort to work things out w/ my now ex-wife. I wish I could have realized how unhappy I'd become in my marriage and dealt with it rather than running from it. My marriage may still have ended, but I owed it to myself and to her to have at least tried to work things out - I didn't and now I deeply regret it.
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