We all have some sort of guilt in our lives. Some of it is real, some of it is self manifested. I went to a seminar for lunch yesterday and didn't have time to share this with the group. I have to remember that saying NO has no guilt attached to it. If someone asks me and I have a true choice, then saying NO has no strings, no guilt. It's just what it is. As for the food on the plate. I cover it with my napkin. It may look funny, but if I don't see it I don't feel guilty and keep picking at it.
Anyone else out there managing guilt in their lives well?
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Understanding Guilt: Cause and Effects:
Guilt is the emotion we feel when we think we’ve done something we’re not supposed to do, or haven’t done something we should have. It’s an emotion we’ve experienced since early in our lives. If you’ve ever seen the look on a child’s face when he or she feels guilty, you can understand what a basic and natural emotion it is. The child’s eyes are downcast and avoid you. The child feels bad. These tips will help you understand what guilt is, why it’s useful in some situations and why habitual guilt can be destructive.
Guilt Helps Form Us
Guilt is a bad feeling and an effective teacher. As children, most of us felt guilty when we misbehaved. We wanted to avoid that bad feeling, so must of us learned to follow the rules set out for us. That’s one of the ways our behavior was shaped. In this way, guilt plays a part in learning right from wrong.
Habitual Guilt
As adults, we still have to follow the rules. Many of these laws such as traffic laws are impost for personal safety. Some rules, however, become inappropriate for adults and we get stuck in a childish habit because we feel guilty if we do something different.
For example, many of us grew up with our parent telling us we had to finish all the food on our dinner plate. Our parents played on our childish guilt by reminding us of all the starving children who didn’t have dinner. So we ate what we didn’t like and we ate when we were no longer hungry. Stated simply we learned to eat so that we wouldn’t feel guilty. As a result, many adults are in the habit of eating every bite of food on their dinner plate, whether they’re still hungry. Guilt has shaped the habit.
Overcoming Habitual Guilt
You can overcome habitual guilt by examining the guilt making situation the next time it occurs. Do you feel guilty because you’re sorry you did something? Or is the guilty feeling a result of habits? Adults have the right and the responsibility to make their own decisions. By analyzing the situations that cause you to feel guilt, you might be able to eliminate some unnecessary bad feelings from your emotional responses.
Tips on Managing Guilt:
When Guilt Strikes:- Fell the feeling, calm the panic, don't run away
observe when guilt strikes the hardest
Make personal expectations more realistic
Take steps to change behaviour when guilt is warranted
Prescription: Take Steps to Manage Your Guilt- Assess the situation
Check out yourself, your emotions, your thinking , your tendencies
Notice the role of others in the situation
What is the reality of the situation?
Is there a solution or strategy? If so, Take Action
Evaluate how you are managing your guilt
Acknowledge your successes.
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