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/me stomps on dead horse
Glad ya came to the TFP, mypro. We've got some really compassionate, intelligent people haunting these boards.
But right now, you've got me. While I'm no Averett, or Motdakasha, I do have two cents... and they're shiny!
That's supposed to make you laugh, btw. With all the stress you're undoubtedly dealing with, I thought that would be appreciated. But then, I'm also not funny at all, so who knows?
Absolutely come clean with your wife. Three reasons:
1.) She deserves it.
2.) If you have any intention of continuing your marriage, you need to know how she feels, and she needs to know how you feel. Therapy's been mentioned, but before you go that route, I recommend a sit-down. If you’re both adults, a facilitator isn't necessary during your first real discussion.
3.) Perhaps her response will surprise you. You said you were attracted to her intelligence; give her an opportunity to exercise it. Let her make a rational decision and stick with it, even if that means you're in a world for a while. Could be, your confession rekindles facets of the relationship you never really appreciated before.
How to get rid of the ex? Quickly. Be kind, be sincere and be honest: "I thought this would help me, and it doesn't. The sex is great, but I must admit to myself that a relationship can't be built on orgasms, and I don't think we have anything else that would bind us together."
Good luck, man.
__________________
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons.
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason.
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son.
They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself."
- A Perfect Circle
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