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I wouldn't worry about being fat. Body mass index (BMI) that they use when they ask your height and weight isn't the end all be all (whether it tells you that you are fine or not).
I certainly would not worry about dieting if I were you. I would worry about being active. Get some exercise. If you are active, you will feel better.
As to your question about telling my partner, I would tell her if she was outrageously fat and sedentary. If that were the case, I would probably be the same way. I would tell her that we both need to start being more active.
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