Quote:
Originally posted by mypro
I think that despite what I end up doing with my wife, this mistress is not for me.
The question now is how do I end things with this mistress? Just cutting it off will result in disaster for me, as she will cause trouble. I have no problem lying to her (I'm having an affair for crying out loud, lying obviously is not an issue for me...which sucks in of itself, but I'll save it for counseling). Any suggestions on how to end it with her without her making my life VERY, VERY difficult?
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I'm glad you decided the mistress is not the prime choice in this situation. I'd like to add, though, in case if you ever come to a decision point like this again, that you should keep your kid in mind. Divorce is not something to be taken lightly. While it may be amicable with you and your wife, divorce can be traumatizing to a kid.
Since you've talked a lot about divorcing your wife, maybe reverse that conversation and see how she takes it. Instead, talk about not divorcing her and noticing things you may have taken for granted about your wife. Try to warm up your mistress to the thought that maybe you're better off with the wife instead.. The fact that she has four kids and two whacky Exs indicates to me that no matter how you deal with this, it probably won't end nicely or easily. But maybe, just maybe, you can get her to realize what's going on and she might just bow out gracefully.
**Added**
Also, keep in mind she is your mistress afterall, not your wife. You have every right to go the opposite root and leave her high and dry. You made your vows to your wife, not her.
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And I think you need to come clean with your wife. Even if you had protected sex with the mistress, your wife still has a right to know she may be at risk for STIs and whatnot because of your actions. This is about her physical health.
When I first read your post, I was immediately reminded of Shakespeare. Though I'm hardly a fan, I do like these sonnets.
Sonnet #130: My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
Someone's analysis of this sonnet
"And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare."
"But Shakespeare ends the sonnet by proclaiming his love for his mistress despite her lack of adornment, so he does...embrace the fundamental theme...total and consuming love."
Sonnet #154: The little love-god lying once asleep
Commentary
"Love's fire heats water, water cools not love."
"Hence he 'proves' that 'love's fire' can always 'heat water' but water cannot 'cool love.'"