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Also, what are the divorce laws in your state? How would the property/ies you have with your current wife get divided? As far as the mistress goes, consider the same. She has 4 kids, if she gets married to you, and it doesn't work ou t, and it's community property, you've gotten screwed twice on divorces.
Don't make any permanent decisions right now. Call the marriage counsellour, ask for the name of an individual therapist, and see him/her;that way, you can help yourself figure things out more.
Be semihonest with your current wife, say something along the lines of "I don't think things are working out for us right now, and I think we should sleep in seperate rooms." Continuing to sleep in the same bed with her everynight is dishonest (granted, so is cheating on her, but it's all a matter of degrees, and you gotta cover your ass).
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"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead" Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac.
Meff r0x
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