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"What you're describing sounds more like the "Budget Weekend Self-Defence / Cash-Grab" high-school programs than any actual training you'd receive at a school."
That is because it is precisely the sort of training that is frequently passed off. I've trained in about 6 different arts, and taken classes in a lot of different schools (comes from moving a lot as my father was in the military). The vast majority were entirely unrealistic.
I've had the fortune to train with folks that were serious. I've gotten injured in those training sessions, and injured others. It is a risk that you take when working high-speed and near to full force. The more you bleed in training, the less you'll bleed when things go pear-shaped. Least that is how it was explained to me. Those sorts of groups are rare though, and the reason is usually prohibitive insurance costs.
I know a number of folks trained in serious self-defense forms under serious self-defense conditions. I know far more that have received training that is utter crap under the most controlled and unrealistic conditions. The only reason that a "black belt" from most schools might be dangerous in a fight is because they are in good physical shape and likely to have a better mentality. I've never had a belt higher than about 4 grades into any martial art, yet have personally trounced folks with black (or other high level grades depending on school) belts in informal scuffles, sparring matches, and at least one fairly serious altercation. I have little respect for most so-called martial arts schools.
I've also been flat handled by various people from less formal schools and arts that tend to teach at a higher level. I was utterly flattened by my Sombo instructor, in various styles of combat. He was awe-inspiring. While I have little respect for most schools, there are still quite a few that I have boundless respect for.
I'm not dogging martial arts in general. I'm dogging the ritual-is-more-important-than-sparring, minimal-contact, and jump-four-feet-in-the-air-and-kick sorts of school that teach useless garbage that will do nothing in the real world except impress gullible types.
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"Whereupon, in 90% of the world, you go to jail for illegally carrying a firearm, with optional extra charges for threatening someone with it."
Sure enough. Luckily, my corner of the world has options for legal carry. Whenever I carry, I do so legally as I have taken the steps.
The problem with your argument is those self same corners of the world that would arrest you for illegally carrying a firearm will also arrest you for beating the ever-loving crap out of a mugger with your martial arts training. It's a no-win situation in many places.
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