Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Need help finding gramatical errors and stuff...plz help

Mephisto2 · 09-15-2003, 11:07 PM

OK, there's a bunch of errors in there. I'm not criticising you, but simply stating a fact. For starters, there are TWO spaces after a period. You won't be able to see that clearly in the corrected version below.

*START*START*START*START*START*

When planning a trip to Memphis, keep in mind that the city has a lot to offer. Currently Memphis has become a fast growing community. It contains many diverse individuals from all types of backgrounds. People would have to visit the city in order to get the full effect of what it has to offer.

Code:

The preceding sentence has a conditional clause that seems inappropriate.  Replace would have to with need to or should visit.

Many of the best kept secrets of Memphis involve entertainment, tourism, sports, museums

Code:

Full stop here.

Additionally, there have been several different celebrities that originated from the Memphis area such as B.B. King, W.C. Handy, Jerry Lee Lewis, Sybil Shepard and of course its most famous son, Elvis Presley. Memphis offers many different types of entertainment for the whole family to enjoy. It boasts two professional sports teams, world famous barbecue restaurants, several museums, botanical gardens, tours of lovely old Victorian houses and Beale Street.

Code:

Replaced "diverse" with "many" and removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence

In addition, do not forget as a backdrop for all these wonderful activities, you have the ?father of all waters? ? the mighty Mississippi River.

In 2001, newspaper headlines read ?Memphis Goes To The Hoop And Scores?. That heralded the arrival of the Grizzlies to Memphis. Our own major-league basketball team had finally come to town! Mid-southerners were happy to have an NBA team right in their own backyard. The Grizzlies games are presently being played in the Pyramid; while a new arena to be known as the FedEx Forum is being constructed. Previously, the corner of Third and Union, downtown Memphis, was littered with adult bookstores, warehouses, and parking lots. Today it is one of the city?s sports icons ? Auto Zone Park. The park is the home of the St. Louis Cardinals? farm team ? the Memphis Red Birds. The Red Birds celebrated six years of Triple-A baseball in Memphis in 2003.

For barbecue there is no better place than Memphis?s Rendezvous or Corkey?s restaurants.

Code:

Removed an inappropriate comma.

People, including many celebrities, come from all over the world to eat in these famous eateries.

Code:

Celebrities are automatically people, so the the sentence above sounded unusual, hence my suggested change

Both restaurants have become so famous for their pork and sauce that you can order it on-line or by phone. You can also have the food sent to you via FedEx anywhere in the world! During ?Memphis in May?, one of the events is a ?barbecueholic?s? dream! For three days there is a barbecue cook-off contest and for the price of admission you can make a ?pig? of yourself and eat all you can stomach.

Code:

Removed an inappropriate comma.  Revised wording slightly.

Southern belles sipping mint Juleps on plantation porches immediately come to mind when we think of southern homes. Victorian homes are not usually associated with the mid-south, but Memphis has eighteen of them.

Code:

In this context, shouldn't "mid-south" be considered a proper noun?  IE, "mid-South".  Not certain of this as I am not American.

Located in downtown Memphis, they make up some twenty-five blocks and range from Neoclassical to Gothic Revival in style. These houses have been restored to their former glory, back in the days when ?cotton was king?. Most are privately owned, but the Mallory-Neely House and the Woodruff-Fontaine Hose are open to the public.

In addition to the better-known tourist destinations in Memphis, such as Elvis Presley?s Graceland and the Civil Rights Museum, there are also many lesser-known museums. These include the Brooks Art Museum, the W.C. Handy Museum, and the National Ornamental Metal Museum. The Brooks Museum is the oldest fine arts museum in the state of Tennessee. It opened in 1916 and has been expanded three times most recentlyin 1989. Located in the heart of town, the Brooks Museum is a dynamic cultural complex. It includes twenty-nine galleries, art classrooms, a print study room with over forty-five hundred works of art on paper, a research library with over five thousand volumes and an auditorium.

Code:

Removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence.  You don't need commas before "and"

The facilities also include the Museum Store, the Holly Court Garden and a grand terrace that overlooks the greens and trees of the Memphis? Overton Park.

Code:

Removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence.  You don't need commas before "and"

The National Ornamental Metal Museum is the only museum in the U.S. that is dedicated to preserving of the art and craftsmanship of metal-working.

Code:

Removed an inappropriate "the"

Exhibitions range from jewelry and hollowware in precious metals to architectural wrought iron. Its collection includes 19th century iron furniture, fences, kitchen utensils, a New Orleans-style cornstalk cast-iron fence, and a diorama complete with Victorian blacksmith?s tools.

Code:

Possessive form of it has no appostraphe; ie, "its" and not "it's"

Overlooking the Mississippi River is a working blacksmith shop. Also featured is an outdoor sculpture garden ? all right on the Mississippi River bluffs.

The beauty of nature abounds in the middle of the city! This can be especially appreciated when you take a visit to the Memphis Botanic Garden located in the Audubon Park. Eighty-eight acres of carefully tended parkland features trees, shrubs, flowers, and working trails, as well as a scenic Japanese Garden surrounding a peaceful lake. The Rose Garden alone features more than four thousand plants. Special springtime treats include the azalea and dogwood trails, while the perennial and herb collections are also seasonal favorites.

The W.C. Handy House Museum was once the home to William Christopher Handy, the man often referred to as the father of the blues.

Code:

Combined the two proceeding sentences.

At this site, located on Beale Street, Handy composed ?Memphis Blues? and ?St. Louis Blues?, among others. Handy lived in this house during his Memphis years, though it was [b]originally[b] located elsewhere in the city. The building was later moved to its present location. The house is filled with photographs, memorabilia and some of the original sheet music written by the man who popularized blues.

Beale Street is still the musical heart of Memphis. It is the best place for fans to hear live music, with famous bars such as B.B. King?s Blues Club. Beale Street has been playing the blues for more than half a century. Historically the centre for black music and culture in the city, it is worth visiting just for its atmosphere alone, let alone the wonderful music. It is rightfully known as the birthplace of the blues.

The more one gets to know about Memphis, the more there is to it. Everyone knows about FedEx and Graceland, while the Civil Rights Museum as a tribute to Martin Luther King is world renowned. However, the local treasures of the less well-known museums, barbecue, sports teams, and historical dwellings make Memphis a great place to live or visit.

<<<<<<<<<<<END>>>>>>>>>>>>

These are all simply suggestions.

Feel free to ignore them if you so wish.

Mr Mephisto

09-15-2003, 11:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	OK, there's a bunch of errors in there. I'm not criticising you, but simply stating a fact. For starters, there are TWO spaces after a period. You won't be able to see that clearly in the corrected version below. STARTSTARTSTARTSTARTSTART When planning a trip to Memphis, keep in mind that the city has a lot to offer. Currently Memphis has become a fast growing community. It contains many diverse individuals from all types of backgrounds. People would have to visit the city in order to get the full effect of what it has to offer. Code: The preceding sentence has a conditional clause that seems inappropriate. Replace would have to with need to or should visit. Many of the best kept secrets of Memphis involve entertainment, tourism, sports, museums Code: Full stop here. Additionally, there have been several different celebrities that originated from the Memphis area such as B.B. King, W.C. Handy, Jerry Lee Lewis, Sybil Shepard and of course its most famous son, Elvis Presley. Memphis offers many different types of entertainment for the whole family to enjoy. It boasts two professional sports teams, world famous barbecue restaurants, several museums, botanical gardens, tours of lovely old Victorian houses and Beale Street. Code: Replaced "diverse" with "many" and removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence In addition, do not forget as a backdrop for all these wonderful activities, you have the ?father of all waters? ? the mighty Mississippi River. In 2001, newspaper headlines read ?Memphis Goes To The Hoop And Scores?. That heralded the arrival of the Grizzlies to Memphis. Our own major-league basketball team had finally come to town! Mid-southerners were happy to have an NBA team right in their own backyard. The Grizzlies games are presently being played in the Pyramid; while a new arena to be known as the FedEx Forum is being constructed. Previously, the corner of Third and Union, downtown Memphis, was littered with adult bookstores, warehouses, and parking lots. Today it is one of the city?s sports icons ? Auto Zone Park. The park is the home of the St. Louis Cardinals? farm team ? the Memphis Red Birds. The Red Birds celebrated six years of Triple-A baseball in Memphis in 2003. For barbecue there is no better place than Memphis?s Rendezvous or Corkey?s restaurants. Code: Removed an inappropriate comma. People, including many celebrities, come from all over the world to eat in these famous eateries. Code: Celebrities are automatically people, so the the sentence above sounded unusual, hence my suggested change Both restaurants have become so famous for their pork and sauce that you can order it on-line or by phone. You can also have the food sent to you via FedEx anywhere in the world! During ?Memphis in May?, one of the events is a ?barbecueholic?s? dream! For three days there is a barbecue cook-off contest and for the price of admission you can make a ?pig? of yourself and eat all you can stomach. Code: Removed an inappropriate comma. Revised wording slightly. Southern belles sipping mint Juleps on plantation porches immediately come to mind when we think of southern homes. Victorian homes are not usually associated with the mid-south, but Memphis has eighteen of them. Code: In this context, shouldn't "mid-south" be considered a proper noun? IE, "mid-South". Not certain of this as I am not American. Located in downtown Memphis, they make up some twenty-five blocks and range from Neoclassical to Gothic Revival in style. These houses have been restored to their former glory, back in the days when ?cotton was king?. Most are privately owned, but the Mallory-Neely House and the Woodruff-Fontaine Hose are open to the public. In addition to the better-known tourist destinations in Memphis, such as Elvis Presley?s Graceland and the Civil Rights Museum, there are also many lesser-known museums. These include the Brooks Art Museum, the W.C. Handy Museum, and the National Ornamental Metal Museum. The Brooks Museum is the oldest fine arts museum in the state of Tennessee. It opened in 1916 and has been expanded three times most recentlyin 1989. Located in the heart of town, the Brooks Museum is a dynamic cultural complex. It includes twenty-nine galleries, art classrooms, a print study room with over forty-five hundred works of art on paper, a research library with over five thousand volumes and an auditorium. Code: Removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence. You don't need commas before "and" The facilities also include the Museum Store, the Holly Court Garden and a grand terrace that overlooks the greens and trees of the Memphis? Overton Park. Code: Removed an inappropriate comma towards the end of the sentence. You don't need commas before "and" The National Ornamental Metal Museum is the only museum in the U.S. that is dedicated to preserving of the art and craftsmanship of metal-working. Code: Removed an inappropriate "the" Exhibitions range from jewelry and hollowware in precious metals to architectural wrought iron. Its collection includes 19th century iron furniture, fences, kitchen utensils, a New Orleans-style cornstalk cast-iron fence, and a diorama complete with Victorian blacksmith?s tools. Code: Possessive form of it has no appostraphe; ie, "its" and not "it's" Overlooking the Mississippi River is a working blacksmith shop. Also featured is an outdoor sculpture garden ? all right on the Mississippi River bluffs. The beauty of nature abounds in the middle of the city! This can be especially appreciated when you take a visit to the Memphis Botanic Garden located in the Audubon Park. Eighty-eight acres of carefully tended parkland features trees, shrubs, flowers, and working trails, as well as a scenic Japanese Garden surrounding a peaceful lake. The Rose Garden alone features more than four thousand plants. Special springtime treats include the azalea and dogwood trails, while the perennial and herb collections are also seasonal favorites. The W.C. Handy House Museum was once the home to William Christopher Handy, the man often referred to as the father of the blues. Code: Combined the two proceeding sentences. At this site, located on Beale Street, Handy composed ?Memphis Blues? and ?St. Louis Blues?, among others. Handy lived in this house during his Memphis years, though it was [b]originally[b] located elsewhere in the city. The building was later moved to its present location. The house is filled with photographs, memorabilia and some of the original sheet music written by the man who popularized blues. Beale Street is still the musical heart of Memphis. It is the best place for fans to hear live music, with famous bars such as B.B. King?s Blues Club. Beale Street has been playing the blues for more than half a century. Historically the centre for black music and culture in the city, it is worth visiting just for its atmosphere alone, let alone the wonderful music. It is rightfully known as the birthplace of the blues. The more one gets to know about Memphis, the more there is to it. Everyone knows about FedEx and Graceland, while the Civil Rights Museum as a tribute to Martin Luther King is world renowned. However, the local treasures of the less well-known museums, barbecue, sports teams, and historical dwellings make Memphis a great place to live or visit. <<<<<<<<<<<END>>>>>>>>>>>> These are all simply suggestions. Feel free to ignore them if you so wish. Mr Mephisto Last edited by Mephisto2; 09-15-2003 at 11:09 PM..