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sexymama · 09-14-2003, 07:57 AM

Reanna -- you are asking for honest opinions in this thread and that is what you've gotten from a lot of people. I saw the thread yesterday, but did not have time to read it. Lebell mentioned it to me, so I'm reading it today.

First, a little background: I am a teacher and a parent educator. I have taught parenting classes for 9 years now. I tend to use "Love and Logic" parenting the most - although I think it is best for 4-year-olds and above. I am also in the midst of raising my 4th and 5th children. I have 2 grown step-sons (one of whom is very much like your 3-year-old) and another son. So, I am a parent and thus have the experience Lebell is calling for.

The major thing I have learned over the years of teaching everything from "at risk" (jailed for abuse) parents to "high functioning" parents is that every parent truly loves their child -- some just have better skills then others. Also, there is no such thing as a perfect parent nor a perfect child.

With all that said, the other thing I've learned is that we all need to make our own best decisions. Lebell asked me last night if I'd ever use a leash and my response was a firm, "no." I like to hold my children's hands. I feel that we do not touch our children enough in today's society so I like to positively touch mine as much as possible. However, I continued to explain, I am not a shopper. I spend very little time in the mall and when I did shop, when the kids were younger, I mostly left them home. With that said, I continued to explain to him, that I would NEVER JUDGE someone who chose to use a leash as I do not know the parent or the child. That I trust that he/she is making a choice that is best for him/her. I would, however, "judge" if I felt the leash was being used harshly. In your case, it does not sound like you are being harsh -- just using a method of parenting that works for you. It is not our place to judge you. We are not walking in your shoes or raising your child. We do not know your 3-year-old's personality or your personality. Continue to be the loving, caring parent you obviously are, and things will be just fine -- never perfect -- but fine! You obviously care, or this woman would not have bugged you. In the long run, it is the love you give your child that matters.

09-14-2003, 07:57 AM	#49 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Reanna -- you are asking for honest opinions in this thread and that is what you've gotten from a lot of people. I saw the thread yesterday, but did not have time to read it. Lebell mentioned it to me, so I'm reading it today. First, a little background: I am a teacher and a parent educator. I have taught parenting classes for 9 years now. I tend to use "Love and Logic" parenting the most - although I think it is best for 4-year-olds and above. I am also in the midst of raising my 4th and 5th children. I have 2 grown step-sons (one of whom is very much like your 3-year-old) and another son. So, I am a parent and thus have the experience Lebell is calling for. The major thing I have learned over the years of teaching everything from "at risk" (jailed for abuse) parents to "high functioning" parents is that every parent truly loves their child -- some just have better skills then others. Also, there is no such thing as a perfect parent nor a perfect child. With all that said, the other thing I've learned is that we all need to make our own best decisions. Lebell asked me last night if I'd ever use a leash and my response was a firm, "no." I like to hold my children's hands. I feel that we do not touch our children enough in today's society so I like to positively touch mine as much as possible. However, I continued to explain, I am not a shopper. I spend very little time in the mall and when I did shop, when the kids were younger, I mostly left them home. With that said, I continued to explain to him, that I would NEVER JUDGE someone who chose to use a leash as I do not know the parent or the child. That I trust that he/she is making a choice that is best for him/her. I would, however, "judge" if I felt the leash was being used harshly. In your case, it does not sound like you are being harsh -- just using a method of parenting that works for you. It is not our place to judge you. We are not walking in your shoes or raising your child. We do not know your 3-year-old's personality or your personality. Continue to be the loving, caring parent you obviously are, and things will be just fine -- never perfect -- but fine! You obviously care, or this woman would not have bugged you. In the long run, it is the love you give your child that matters. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.