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Considering how our society is today, no, I don't think you are being paranoid or controlling.
I've not seen any data that says a harness is harmful to a child's psyche, so I wouldn't worry about it.
I would have asked Ms Nosy if she were a registered child therapist and when she said, "no", I would have replied, "Well, I'll give your opinion all the consideration it deserves, thank you!" and walked away.
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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis
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