09-10-2003, 04:22 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Stay off the sidewalk!
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
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Yes, Virginia, there are stupid questions. From http://www.duhaime.org/Law_fun/dumb.htm
Examples: - Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
- Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
- A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
B: Did he kill you?
- Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
- The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
- Were you alone or by yourself?
- A: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
B: It indicates intercourse.
A: Male sperm?
B: That is the only kind I know.
- A: Can you describe the individual?
B: He was about medium height and had a beard.
A: Was this a male or female?
- How long have you been a French Canadian?
- How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?
- A: Mr. Clark, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
B: I went to Europe, sir.
A: And did you take your new wife?
- Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
- A: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
B: That's me.
A: Were you present when that picture was taken?
- Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
- A: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
B: By death.
A: And by whose death was it terminated?
- A: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
B: I'll be three months on November 8.
A: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
B: Yes.
A: What were you doing at that time?
- A: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
B: I used to be.
A: How many times have you committed suicide?
- So you were gone until you returned?
- A: She had three children, right?
B: Yes.
A: How many were boys?
B: None.
A: Were there girls?
- You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
- A: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
B: Yes.
A: And these stairs, did they go up also?
- Lawyer: What device do you have in your laboratory to test alcohol content?
Witness: I have a dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard 5710A with flame ionization detectors.
Judge: Can you get that on mag wheels?
Witness: Only on the floor models.
- A: Have you lived in this town all your life?
B: Not yet.
- A: All you responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
B: Oral.
- Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
- A: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
B: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
- A: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Brown?
B: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
A: And Mr. Brown was dead at the time, is that correct?
B: No. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
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Last edited by RoadRage; 09-10-2003 at 04:31 AM..
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