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Ok now, try to keep up.
A train leaves San Antonio, Texas and accelerates to 56.3254 miles per hour. At the same time a bus leaves Winsow Arizona and accelerates to 76.957 miles per hour.
Five minutes later a housewife in New Orleans, Louisiana starts her vacuum cleaner, an 1987 Electrolux drawing 4.7 amps average.
Without anyone noticing an extraterristrial craft sits in a holding pattern over Lovelock, Nevada emitting a stream of ions at approximately 158K per cubic millimeter at 61 KV.
The bus driver is of Russian extraction and likes orange popsicles and poodles. The train engineer, on the other hand is a cross dresser and only wears silk panties while operating the locomotive engine.
The housewife gets horny every day at exactly 3:17. The exact time that the mailman puts something in her box on a daily basis.
The bus has 13 passengers, 7 Nuns, 3 French tourists, 2 newlyweds, and a man from Tampa Florida that sells lightning rods and whoopee cushions.
The train has 32 cars and a tanker full of dihydrogen monoxide. It also has, unknown to the passengers, a cracked wheel on the left side of car number 17 and a faulty coupling between cars 22 and 23.
The alien spacecraft carries two beings that resemble carrots that have lain in the sun too long and have gills. The smell a lot like old hay and cinnamon. Each has a hostess twinkie and a bottle of Sprite. They are unaware that there is a slow leak in the aft wattle tilt control coil ring, and it's getting worse.
During this time the earth rotates through 16.978546 degrees and a small hurricane forms in the Atlantic. The city of Los Angles moves .3 inches toward the ocean but no one notices. A man in Canada kisses his wife goodbye and steps in front of a moving van. Three cows fall down in upstate New York and can't get up. A lizard moves into the shade near Boulder, Colorado. Illinois gains three new residents.
The train approaches a curve at the exact time that the aft wattle tilt control coil ring blows and fills the ship with butane and aluminum dust. The bus starts down a long, steep grade and the brakes have failed. The housewifes hearbeat is now 102 beats per minute and the vacuum cleaner bag needs to be changed. The cows give up and just lie there, mooing pitiously. The aliens prepare to eject but the ejection mechanism malfunctions and the wipers won't turn off. The bus accelerates to 127.36 miles per hour and there is a Honda that won't move to the other lane, the driver wets his pants. One of the nuns mutters a foul word.
Oh, hey quitting time. Ya think I should take the shortcut home or just go through town?
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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
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