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Old 09-09-2003, 03:07 PM   #22 (permalink)
tinfoil
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Location: Springford, ON, Canada
For immediate release:

The Hord (tm) has announced it's intentions for a hostile takeover of West Virgina.

Troublebot, itchy and unloved bottle washer for The Hord, has declared this to be a fine day for West Virginia. 'For so long have the West Virginians been under the yoke of an opressive government. A government which brought forth horror after unspeakable horror, such as the state slogan 'Wild, Wonderful'. We of The Horde are here to free you of your government. No longer will you be held down by their lackluster marketing skills. Prepare for a new era!'

'Oh, and if you see Sir Clitoricus, tell him to go easy with that magic dildo of his. He almost poked out my eye.'

State leaders were quoted, saying 'Meh.'

West Virginians weer generally pleased with the situation. 'Once you get used to the looting, you hardly know they are there! And hey, I always wanted a door there!'

Robert Kocharian, President of Armenia has spoken with Giant Hamburger, head of valet parking for The Horde, and extended his congratulations. 'Clearly The Horde is a just and fearsome force.'

The Sultan and Prim Minister of Brunei, Sir Bolkiah Hassanal claims Mr. Kocharian's remarks were under made duress, however any attempts to contact the Sultan have resulted in maniacal laughter.

-----

The Horde (TM) is a newly formed organization with aims to revolutionalise the looting industry.

Formed in 2003, The Horde began it's whirlwind tour with the succesful takeover of Rodeo Drive. Pundits have hailed the move as impressive and as a mark of The Horde's mastery.

The Horde is available for private parties and state / country takeovers. Please contact Troublebot for more information.
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