Quote:
Originally posted by vulture
george carlin and chris rock!
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Those are prolly my two faves as well. Carlin is a genius but I'll add these 3 cause 2 of them are creative genius's....and the other guy is just funny
Robert Schimmel
Zack Galfafuckinforgothowtospellhislongassfuckinlastname
STEVEN WRIGHT
My ex-girlfriend was diagnosed with schitzophrenia last week....and you should never joke about that stuff but...yesterday she called my house....and my caller ID....exploded! - Zack
(While playing the piano...cause...thats how he does it)
My roomate is chinese...and I'm always playing the piano.....and whenever she comes into the house I play(plays chop sticks) and she looks at me and she's like "Why do you always play that when I come into the house?" and I say it's because I don't have a gong - Also Zack
I was walking my dog around my building this morning....on the ledge.....see some people are afraid of heights....I'm afraid of widths - Steven
My wife has a king-size bed I have a court jester size bed......the ends curl up and have little bells on them - also Steven
This morning my wife leans over to me and says "Did you sleep good?" I said....no...I made a few mistakes - Steven again
So before I left on this tour my wife stopped me and she asked me "So how long are you going to be gone on this tour" and I was like...."The whole time".... - Steven has countless good ones.
Asta!!