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Crispus Attucks - also remembered as the first black man to die in the cause of the American Revolution.
(Thank you, Discovery Channel)
Who passed out drunk on his wedding night, suffered a nosebleed, and drowned in his own blood in 453 A.D.?
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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