i had the typical teen angst depression thing going on. and you know, i LIKED being that way. i took comfort in it. i revelled in dwelling. i think i glamourized it. i had wishy washy ideals that a boy would sweep me off my feet and 'save' me and that that would be so romantic. i know now that it's up to you to change *yourself* and to put the strain on anyone else is selfish. the moment that changed for me was when i found myself WANTING to be a self-mutilator. and i had to recheck myself and think 'wait a minute, am i really as messed up as i think?? what am i trying to prove here'. i asked myself if i REALLY wanted to be depressed and realized that i didn't. yeah, maybe i was depressed but a good deal of it was just my own melodrama. now, i keep my melodrama in check (although i still like drama in my life :P ). i realized i actually didn't want to be depressed anymore, and that it was up to me to change it, and so i did accordingly.
i'm much happier now.
