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This is my review of Pirates of the Caribbean, and yes I loved it.
Last night Domino Brooks and I took a trip to see Pirates of the Caribbean. The movie produced by Jerry "Action" Bruckheimer, was surprisingly a swashbuckling good time. It stars Johnny Depp who reprises his role of Hunter S. Thompson AKA Raoul Duke as a pirate. The transition is quite smooth. Its incredible that if you mix 2 parts Hunter S. Thompson with one part Keith Richards you get the perfect pirate. Also starring is Orlando Bloom who reprises his role as Legolas the elf minus the pretty hair and bow and arrow. The lead gal is whats-her-name and I haven't seen her before, but she fits the part of damsel in distress who is craftier than her captors would like to believe and she is really hot. Geoffrey Rush reprises his role of Casanova Frankenstien in Mystery Men as the captain of the cursed pirate ship "The Black Pearl". Apparently Casanova Frankenstien doublecrossed Hunter S. Thompson-Richards and left him stranded on an island while he stole his ship "The Black Pearl." Hunter S. Thompson-Richards is super-pissed and wants his ship back. Cut to the present day Caribbean where Casanova Frankenstien has just run off with Legolas' main squeeze. Legolas is super-pissed and wants his babe back. So he teams up with Hunter S. Thompson-Richards. They go after Casanova Frankenstein and when they catch up with him there is a big to-do over Casanova Frankenstien's curse and how it can only be lifted by dropping Elven blood into this old Aztec box. Hilarity ensues when the Commodore of the British Navy shows up with the entire British fleet and the undead pirate zombies confuse them by cross-dressing, which is always very confusing. There are some great lines such as "if you want pain, try wearing a corset." And Hunter S. Thompson-Richards hysterically gets slapped a total of 24 times while trying to figure out whether or not he actually deserves it. The special effects are spectacular but not over done. They are the best walking skeleton effects that I have seen since the 1963 smash hit dark-comedy known as "Jason and the Argonauts." There is even a very frightening appearance by an undead monkey which has caused me to sleep with a nightlight on last night. To round out the cast they included a tough-as-nails pirate african-american woman, a midget, and a pair of pirate men who are obviously quite in love with eachother. All of which completes the perfect Pirate crew. Its got everything you could ask for in a pirate movie and much much more. I was impressed and had a great time. Casanova Frankestein even shouts "Arrrgh" a couple of times.
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Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
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