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I would tell her that you hear her and understand that she wants you less distant and that you will work on it.
You need to tell her that she needs to hear you when you tell her that sometimes you won't be holding her hand and that her obsession with it is putting the entire relationship at risk. Assure her that you love her and try to tell her that the minute to minute status of your hand holding should not be "read into" being a relationship barometer. If she doesn't listen and/or respect your wishes or just calm the F___ down about it, then she is a wingnut and you should run for the hills. She might be at least partly the first half of O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder) or something similar. She might need an anxiety med. If she doesn't straighten up and become normal - by herself or through miracles of modern pharmacology, then you might just give her the boot to preserve your own sanity...
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