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Definitely mind-reading powers for me. I want to know EXACTLY what women are thinking. I would then write an extensive multiple-tome manual for men on the proper interaction with women, and vice-versa.
The Man-ual™ would sell billions of copies (for only ten easy payments of $39.95 - and if you call now, get our complimentary Guidebook to the In-laws™, absolutely free!), with one in every home around the world, displacing the dictionary and encyclopedia as the book found in the most households at once.
I would be rich and successful, and posssibly win a number of Nobel Prizes for this achievement.
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You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
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