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go into the tallest building you can find and locate the elevator. take into the elevator one of those folding camp chairs, a bucket of minnows and a short fishing pole. set up like you are ice fishing in a shanty. do this until the cops show up and make you leave. extra fun to be had if you take some actual fish with you on a stringer, as proof that they are biting today.
walk around backward for an entire day, using a handheld mirror to see with. be sure to go into a few stores, maybe a restaurant or bar and conduct your business in these establishments backwards. be careful crossing streets though.
bark at strangers. if they tell you to stop, start meowing at them instead.
ckeck the weather forecast. the day before an expected storm, rent a convertible. when the rain starts falling, put the top down and drive around wearing nothing but a big fuzzy clown wig and a pair of polka dotted speedos. sing at the top of your lungs along with all the commercials on the radio, stop singing when actual songs come on. do all of this on heavily travelled streets.
find a cop on the street, if you can. walk up to him, look around suspiciously for a minute or two, then whisper to him that you know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. If he wants to know, tell him it will cost him $50 and breakfast at Dennys. go to Dennys with him and have a western omelette, with extra onions. when he presses you, tell him Jimmy Hoffa is buried under ground.
I can come up with more of these if needed.
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz
I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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