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Did her real or step father die/leave her at a relatively early age? Sounds like she has serious codependency problems, probably from something in early childhood which explains why it manifests itself in something so juvenile. Maybe she had a bad trauma once as a little girl of being lost somewhere, like in a mall. That can trigger something like this too. Counseling is the best for this. Reassure her on a regular basis that you don't have to hold hands for her to be SAFE. Get off that "we don't have to hold hands to be seen as a couple" idea, that's not the problem here. She has safety issues. She needs to know that she's still safe even if you're not holding her hand, that you're not going to leave her stranded somewhere. Try hugging her more. It sounds like holding hands is taking the place of other PDA as well. When she goes for the hand some time, pull her in slowly for a good hug, and tell her how important she is to you, how you'll never let anything happen to her. See if she backs down a bit. This will take repetition, it won't happen on the first or second try. But if it does, you're on the right path.
If you can't, or just don't like her enough, I'd recommend splitting up, and tell her exactly how you feel. You like/love her, but you're not used to that extreme physical need, and that a good stand-the-test-of-time relationship means making the best of time apart, not breaking down, and security doesn't come from holding hands, it comes from love.
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